Maintaining Frame
Your Burden of Performance and maintaining a dominant Frame are intimately linked.
Maintaining Frame is best when it's based on real value. That's not to say that you can't fake it. The perception of Frame can be beneficial in the short term. Fake it till you make it, right? If you're faking Frame, if your ultimate goal is to get your dick wet, then you're probably okay with that. But a real long-term Frame, an authentic Frame, is based on real value. You'll hear guys say, “Those pickup artist guys are all fake! They didn’t do the work. They're fake, and because they're posers, eventually, they'll get found out.”
They're not wrong. Yes, that will eventually happen if you're faking it and you get found out. It's really what female intuition is for. It’s what I call the hypergamous filter. It's meant to sniff out guys who are fakes. Find out who's authentic and who's not. Real Frame is always better than a perceived Frame. However, that's not to say that perceived Frame shouldn’t be put out there. It works best in tandem. If you have legitimate money, muscles, game, respectability, achievements, and a real-life foundation to your Frame, that's great. But if people never have an opportunity to understand that, or if you’re too timid to put that out there, you’ll never reap the benefits and ultimate outcomes of having a real-life Frame. Guys will come to me, and they'll say, “Rolo, I'm in a marriage. I've been married for 10 years, and I lost Frame. How do I get it back?” Yet, when we retrace all the events that led up to him losing Frame, it looks more like he never held it in the first place. We’ll take a trip back in time, relive all the nostalgia when she wanted to have sex with him. But now she doesn't. The truth is, he never really had Frame to begin with. He just thought he did because he conflated desire-based sex with holding Frame.
The hard truth is this: Women don’t marry the man. They marry a lifestyle – or a man’s perceived potential to deliver a better lifestyle at some point in the future. Holding Frame – or even acknowledging it – is not a prerequisite for women to want to have sex with you. Women have hot, monkey sex with losers all the time. They just had to look like Chippendale’s a dancer.
Keep reading with a 7-day free trial
Subscribe to The Rational Male to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.