If you know anything about my work, you understand the principle of the Desire Dynamic. The Desire Dynamic is this:

You cannot negotiate genuine desire.

I coined that particular quote because it relates to Will and the desire to want to be in a relationship or to want to be desired. This dynamic also applies to the Alpha fucks or the Beta bucks side of the dualistic mating strategies of women. So when it comes to desire, when it's just simple, visceral sex, that's easy to determine, right? She wants to rip your clothes off and doesn’t mind if it’s a public place.

But when we get into relationships, desire becomes nuanced. When we're talking about Frame, it is better to have that woman in your Frame willingly than have an obligation to accept it. All men need to strive for the overarching concept of genuine, authentic desire no matter what. Whether you’re reconstructing yourself at 45 or building yourself up at 25, understanding that making a woman do something is one thing — having a woman want to do those things is another. You can't negotiate genuine desire because you’re forcing compliance obligations when you negotiate. You can obligate a woman to do certain things. This has been a theme of religion for millennia. “Duty sex” in marriage obligates your wife to have sex with you. You can pay a prostitute to have sex with you, but you can't pay her to want to have sex with you. She's got to either want that or not.

This also applies to Frame. It's far better to have a woman who willingly wants to be a part of your world than it is for a woman who is bound by necessity or obligation to enter your world because she has nothing else going for her or you're her last resort. You're who she was settling for. Although many men believe this, if a woman is settling for you, it does not mean she is entering into your Frame – at least not because she's doing it born of natural desire. It's born of necessity. If a woman is necessitous, you must evaluate this when deciding whether you want to get into a relationship, assuming you do. Even if you are dating someone you choose to date nonexclusively, ask yourself: Is she with me because she wants to be with me, or does she want to be in my Frame? Is she with me because she has to be?

If a woman makes rules for you, you enter her Frame. It’s easy to understand who controls the Frame because you are the necessitous party, and necessitous men are never free. This is the basis of Simping.

Simping is an unequal exchange of value.

If you enter a woman’s Frame, abide by her rules, jump through hoops she issues to you, agree to and fulfill the obligations and ultimatums she gives in exchange for what you believe is her genuine desire, then you're not really in your Frame. You are not in a dominant position. The imbalance in the value exchange is obvious. You’re a simp.

You're not somebody she can respect, and as such, not somebody she would necessarily care to associate her ego with. If you're the kind of guy predisposed to want to cede Frame, that is something you need to work on. You must change your mind about yourself if you ever hope to be in a position where you have a genuine, authentic Frame and a world already preestablished that women want to enter. Not because she is necessitous but because she’s desirous of being a part of your world. Owning your Frame is crucial to understanding Frame control.